Meeting Your Child Where They Are
Introduction to Age-Specific Support
Every age brings its own challenges, victories, and questions. These guides walk you through each stage with practical wisdom gained from 25 years of supporting families.
Remember: These are guides, not prescriptions. Your child’s journey is unique. Take what helps, leave what doesn’t.
18-24 Months: When Everyone’s Asking “Is He Talking Yet?”
A practical guide from Hulya Mehmet, Consultant Speech & Language Therapist
Let Me Start With What Matters Most
Your toddler is 20 months old and not talking. Your mum keeps mentioning your cousin’s child who “had full sentences by 18 months.” The health visitor is “monitoring.” You’re googling at 2am.
I understand. I’ve sat with thousands of parents in your exact position.
Let me tell you what I know after 25 years: the milestone charts don’t tell the whole story. Your child’s journey is uniquely theirs. And yes, there are things we can do right now to help.
What’s Actually Happening at 18-24 Months?
The Official Milestones (That Stress You Out)
By 18 months, the charts say:
- 10-20 words (but I’ve seen 0-100)
- Points to show you things
- Follows “get your shoes”
- Makes needs known somehow
By 24 months, they expect:
- 50+ words (or maybe 5)
- “More juice” combinations
- Points to nose, tummy
- Back-and-forth play
What I See in My Clinic
The reality? I see brilliant 2-year-olds with no words who understand everything. I see chatty toddlers who can’t follow a simple instruction. I see children who communicate beautifully without speech.
Development isn’t a race. It’s more like a dance – sometimes forward, sometimes sideways, always moving.
When I Do Get Concerned (And What to Do)
Signs at 18 Months That Make Me Want to Help Sooner:
Listen, I don’t want to alarm you. But in my experience, these signs mean we should start supporting your child now:
- No babbling at all (not even “bababa”)
- Not turning when you call their name (even sometimes)
- No pointing to things they want
- Not bringing you toys to share
- Losing skills they had before
A story from my clinic: A mum brought her 18-month-old who’d stopped waving bye-bye. “Probably nothing,” everyone said. But she knew. We started support immediately. Today that child communicates beautifully with a mix of words and AAC.
By 24 Months, I Pay Attention When:
- Still fewer than 10 words (including animal sounds)
- Can’t put two words together ever
- Won’t follow “get your shoes” when calm
- Melts down at every transition
- Shows no interest in other children
- Repeats the same actions over and over
Here’s What These Signs Mean:
They don’t mean autism (though they might). They don’t mean intellectual disability (though they might). They mean: let’s help now rather than wait.
Trust your instincts. You know your child better than any checklist.
What You Can Do Today (Yes, Today)
My Three Golden Rules for This Age
Rule 1: Get Down Low I spend half my day on the floor. Your child needs to see your face. Not your knees.
Rule 2: Shut Up and Wait (Sorry, but it’s true.) We talk too much. Say one word. Count to 5. Wait for ANY response.
Rule 3: Everything Counts A look, a sound, a gesture – it’s all communication. Celebrate it like they’ve just said “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.”
During Your Daily Routines
Breakfast Time: Instead of: “What would you like for breakfast? We have toast or cereal.” Try: “Toast?” (hold it up) [WAIT] “Cereal?” (hold it up) [WAIT]
Getting Dressed: Instead of: “Let’s put your vest on first, then your shirt.” Try: “Vest on!” (show it) “Arms up!” (demonstrate)
Bath Time: My favourite – so many opportunities!
- “Water on!” (turn tap)
- “Splash splash!” (hit water)
- “Bubble pop!” (pop one)
- “All done!” (pull plug)
The Magic of Waiting
Here’s what I do: After I say something, I literally bite my tongue and count. “One elephant, two elephants, three elephants…”
By elephant five, magic often happens. A look. A reach. A sound. That’s your child trying.
Setting Up Your Home for Success
Visual Supports That Actually Work
Forget fancy. Use your phone:
- Take photos of their actual snacks
- Print them at Tesco (costs 50p)
- Stick on the fridge
- Let them point to choose
My visual support kit:
- Mummy and Daddy photos (for when they want you)
- Favourite foods (for choices)
- Garden/TV/Bed photos (for where they want to go)
- Happy/Sad faces (for how they feel)
Laminate them at the library. Done.
Making Your Space Communication-Friendly
Turn off the telly. I know, I know. Peppa Pig gives you five minutes’ peace. But background noise drowns out your child’s attempts to communicate.
Create a calm corner:
- Cushions in the corner
- Fairy lights (battery ones)
- Favourite soft toys
- Where they can see you
When overwhelmed, they go there. You don’t follow. They’ll come out when ready.
The Best Toys for Communication
My top 5 for this age:
- Bubbles – They have to communicate for “more”
- Musical toys – Press button, make sound (cause and effect)
- Ball – Roll back and forth (turn-taking)
- Pop-up toys – They need help (requesting)
- Water play – Pour, splash, “uh oh!” (so many words)
Notice what’s not there? Talking toys. They do the talking so your child doesn’t have to.
Getting Help (The Real Truth)
When I Tell Parents “Don’t Wait”:
If you’re worried, you’re worried for a reason. In 25 years, I’ve never met a parent who was “worried about nothing.”
Start here:
- Your gut feeling matters more than any checklist
- “Too early” doesn’t exist in speech therapy
- You won’t “confuse” them by helping
- Early support helps EVERYONE
The UK System (How It Really Works)
Step 1: Your GP “I’m concerned about my child’s communication. I’d like a referral to speech therapy.” They might say “wait and see.” You say: “I’d prefer to be on the waiting list while we wait.”
Step 2: Health Visitor Often more helpful than GPs. They can:
- Do a development check
- Refer directly to speech therapy
- Connect you with local support groups
- Give you activities while you wait
Step 3: Self-Referral Many areas let you bypass the GP. Google: “[Your area] speech therapy self referral” Example: “Birmingham children’s speech therapy self referral”
Step 4: While You Wait (Because You Will Wait)
- Join local support groups
- Start the strategies in this guide
- Document everything (videos help)
- Consider private assessment if you can (£200-400)
- Remember: you’re not being pushy, you’re being proactive
While You’re Stuck on the Waiting List
My 10-Minute Daily Programme
Here’s exactly what I tell parents:
Set a timer for 10 minutes. Put your phone away. Sit on the floor.
Minutes 1-3: Copy Cat
- They bang blocks? You bang blocks
- They say “ba ba ba”? You say “ba ba ba”
- They spin? You spin (carefully!)
- No teaching. Just copying.
Minutes 4-7: Add One Thing
- They’re playing with cars? You add “Vroom!”
- They’re looking at books? You add “Dog!”
- They’re eating snacks? You add “Yummy!”
- One word. That’s it.
Minutes 8-10: The Wait Game
- Start something fun (bubbles work)
- Do it once
- Wait for them to ask for more (ANY way)
- Do it again
- Repeat
What NOT to Do (I See This Daily)
Stop the Quiz Show:
❌ “What’s this? What colour? How many? Say ball!”
✅ “Ball. Red ball. Bounce bounce.”
Stop the Pressure:
❌ “Say bye-bye to Grandma! Go on, say it!”
✅ “Bye Grandma!” (you wave, they might copy)
Stop the Comparison:
❌ “Your cousin says so many words now.”
✅ “You showed me the cat! Clever you!”
Common Mistakes (You Can Easily Avoid)
With My Own Sons
With my first son, I treated every moment as a learning opportunity or therapy session, always striving for progress. Looking back, I realise that sometimes, just playing for the joy of it would have been just as valuable.
What Doesn’t Help:
Forcing Eye Contact If I had a pound for every time someone said “Look at me when I’m talking”… Some children listen better when NOT looking. Let them be.
The Spanish Inquisition “What’s this? What colour? What does a cow say?” Your child shuts down. Communication stops. Everyone’s miserable.
Pretending Everything’s Fine When family say “Einstein didn’t talk until he was 4!” Smile. Nod. Then do what you know is right.
What Actually Helps:
Be Boring (in a Good Way)
- Same words
- Same time
- Same way
- Every. Single. Day.
Document Like a Detective
- Video them playing (monthly)
- Write down new sounds
- Note what makes them communicate
- You’ll see progress others miss
Find Your Tribe
- Online groups for parents
- Local support meetings
- That one friend who gets it
- Me, through this course
Looking After You (Because No One Else Will)
Why This Age Nearly Broke Me
When my own son was 20 months and not talking, I knew all the “right” things. I was a speech therapist! But at 3am, googling “18 month old no words autism,” I was just another scared mum.
The Comments That Hurt:
- “Boys talk later” (not always)
- “You’re too anxious” (thanks, that helps)
- “My friend’s child didn’t talk until 3” (so?)
- “Stop worrying” (physically impossible)
- “It’s because of screens” (it’s not)
What I Wish Someone Had Told Me:
Your feelings are valid Worried? That’s normal. Grieving milestones? That’s okay. Angry at the universe? Me too, sometimes.
You’re not causing this Not by working. Not by screens. Not by that week you were ill and let them watch too much CBeebies. Not by being bilingual. Not by anything you did or didn’t do.
Progress looks different Maybe it’s not words. Maybe it’s:
- A new sound
- Pointing once
- Bringing you a toy
- Looking when called
- Trying to copy you
That’s all progress.
On the Hard Days:
- Your child is lucky to have you
- Seeking help is strength, not weakness
- Tomorrow is a new day
- You’re doing better than you think
- This is temporary, even when it doesn’t feel it
Activities That Actually Work (Tested on Real Toddlers)
My Top 10 for Building Communication
- Water Play (The Winner) Bath, sink, washing up bowl – doesn’t matter
- “Pour!” (demonstrate)
- “Splash!” (make it big)
- “Uh oh!” (when it spills)
- “More?” (before refilling)
- Bubble Magic Buy 10 bottles. Keep them everywhere.
- Blow one bubble
- Wait for ANY request
- Accept pointing, sounds, looking
- Blow again
- Repeat until they’re done
- The Tissue Game (Sounds weird, works brilliantly)
- Box of tissues
- Pull one out: “Pull!”
- Let them pull next
- “More?” before each one
- Yes, it’s messy. Do it anyway.
- Kitchen Band Pots, spoons, Tupperware
- “Bang bang!”
- “Loud!”
- “Quiet” (demonstrate)
- “Your turn!”
- Copy their rhythm
- Hide and Find Their favourite toy + a blanket
- “Where’s teddy?”
- “Gone!”
- Wait for them to search
- “Found it!”
- Their joy = communication
Movement for Language
Why movement matters: The same part of the brain that controls movement helps with speech. True story.
Try these:
- “Up, up, up” on stairs
- “Jump!” on bed/trampoline
- “Roll” down gentle hills
- “Push” the shopping trolley
- “Pull” wagon or toy
Tracking Progress (The Way That Works)
My Simple System
Get a notebook. Each Sunday, write:
This week I heard:
- New sounds (even “buh” counts)
- Word attempts (“ca” for cat)
- Any vocalisations when happy/upset
This week I saw:
- Pointing (even once)
- Bringing things to show
- Gestures (waving, reaching)
- Eye contact moments
- Copying attempts
This week they communicated by:
- Taking my hand
- Making a choice
- Showing excitement
- Protesting something
- Requesting help
Real Progress Examples from My Clinic
Week 1: Cried differently for hunger vs tired
Week 4: Reached toward biscuit tin
Week 8: Said “uh” while pointing
Week 12: Consistent “mama” when upset
Week 16: “More” gesture for bubbles
Week 20: First two words together: “Bye car”
See? Progress isn’t linear. It’s spirally.
What to Film Monthly
- Playtime (5 minutes)
- Mealtime interaction
- Book looking together
- Their happiest time
- Any communication attempts
You’ll see changes you miss day-to-day.
What Research Actually Says (In Normal Words)
The Studies I Reference
After 25 years, here’s what holds true:
Early help works Not because there’s a magic window that slams shut. But because young brains are bendy. Plastic. Ready to learn different ways.
Parents are the magic Sorry, but you matter more than any therapist. I see your child for 45 minutes. You have them 24/7. You’re the intervention.
Home beats clinic Fancy therapy room? Nice. Your kitchen? Better. Real life = real progress.
Every path is different. I’ve seen children go from no words to sentences in months. I’ve seen others take years. Both are valid journeys.
What This Means for You
- Start now (not tomorrow, now)
- Trust yourself as the expert
- Practice in real situations
- Expect a unique journey
- Celebrate your child’s way
Your Action Plan (Let’s Do This)
This Week – Start Small
Monday: Pick ONE routine. I suggest bath time. Use THREE words consistently: “Bath time!” “Splash splash!” “All done!”
Tuesday: Add the 5-second wait after everything you say. Bite your tongue. Count elephants.
Wednesday: Take video of your child playing. Just 2 minutes. Save it.
Thursday: Phone your health visitor. Say: “I’d like to discuss my child’s communication.”
Friday: Find ONE online support group. Join it. You don’t have to post.
This Month – Build Momentum
Week 1: Make visual cards (photos on phone, printed at Boots) Week 2: Set up calm corner (cushions + fairy lights) Week 3: Start 10-minute daily play programme Week 4: Review videos. Note ANY changes.
Your Long Game
Remember:
- You’re planting seeds daily
- Growth happens underground first
- Spring always comes
- Your child will communicate
- Different doesn’t mean less
My Promise to You
I’ve walked this path with thousands of families. Some days will be hard. Some days you’ll see magic. Most days will be ordinary.
Those ordinary days? That’s where progress lives.
A Personal Note From Me
When parents come to my clinic with an 18-month-old who isn’t talking, I see the fear in their eyes. The same fear I had with my own son.
“Am I overreacting?” “What if it’s something serious?” “What if I’m not doing enough?”
Let me tell you what I tell them. What I wish someone had told me.
Your child is whole and perfect right now. Not when they talk. Not when they hit milestones. Right now.
Yes, we’re going to work on communication. Yes, early support makes a difference. Yes, there are things to do.
But also:
Your child is teaching you a different way to connect. To slow down. To notice. To celebrate the tiny things. To be present.
This is hard. Really hard. And you’re doing it.
Some children take the scenic route to speech. Your job isn’t to rush them onto the motorway. It’s to make their journey as supported as possible.
You’ve got this. I promise.
Hulya Mehmet
Consultant Speech & Language Therapist
Mum who’s been where you are
P.S. Save this guide. You’ll want to look back one day and see how far you’ve come.