Let’s Get Clear About Language Development
In my clinic, I use a simple image: a ladder. Your child is on one rung, trying to reach the next. But here’s what I see every day – parents talking at rung 10 when their child is at rung 1.
No wonder everyone’s frustrated.
Let me show you how to find your child’s rung and speak right there. Not below (that’s boring). Not above (that’s overwhelming). Right where they are, with a gentle stretch to what’s next.
Finding Your Child’s Rung
Rung 1: Pre-Verbal Communication
Your child:
- Communicates through crying, body language, reaching
- Makes sounds but no clear words
- Understands more than they say
Your routine language:
- Single words: “Up!” “Eat!” “Bath!”
- Sound effects: “Splash!” “Yum!” “Wheee!”
- Narrate simply: “Shoes on” “Water warm” “Teddy soft”
Example at snack time: Instead of: “Would you like some apple juice or orange juice for your snack?” Say: “Juice!” (holding it up) or “Apple? Orange?” (showing both)
Rung 2: First Words Emerging
Your child:
- Says 1-10 words (might not be clear)
- Uses gestures with sounds
- Inconsistent word use
Your routine language:
- Two-word combos: “More juice” “Shoes on” “Night night”
- Expand their word: They say “ba” → You say “Ball, yes!”
- Choices with gestures: “Apple or banana?” (holding each)
Example at bedtime: Instead of: “Right, it’s getting late, time to go upstairs and get your pyjamas on” Say: “Bed time. Pyjama’s on.”
Rung 3: Word Combinations
Your child:
- Uses 20-50 words
- Starting two-word phrases
- Still uses lots of gestures
Your routine language:
- Three-word phrases: “Put shoes on” “Want more juice?” “Time for bath”
- Expand their phrases: They say “more juice” → You say “More apple juice”
- Simple questions: “Where’s teddy?” “What happened?”
Example getting dressed: Instead of: “Let’s get you dressed for nursery, where’s your uniform?” Say: “Get dressed. Shirt first. Now trousers.”
Rung 4: Simple Sentences
Your child:
- Combining 3-4 words
- Asking simple questions
- Grammar still developing
Your routine language:
- Full but simple sentences: “It’s time to eat breakfast” “Your shoes are by the door”
- Ask real questions: “What do you want for snack?” “How does that feel?”
- Add descriptive words: “The warm bath” “Your red shoes”
Example at mealtime: Instead of: Complex explanations Say: “Dinner’s ready. It’s pasta. It’s hot. Let’s blow on it.”
My Golden Rules (From 25 Years of Practice)
1. Match and Add One
This is the secret. Look at where they are. Add just ONE element.
- They point → You say one word
- They say “ball” → You say “big ball”
- They say “want juice” → You say “want apple juice”
2. Repeat, Don’t Correct
When your child says “dink!” for drink: You: “Drink, yes! Here’s your drink.” NOT: “No, it’s DRINK, say it properly”
They’re trying. Honour that.
3. Same Words, Same Time, Every Day
“Bath time” – every single night “Shoes on” – every morning “All done” – after every meal “Night night” – at bedtime
Your brain likes patterns. So does theirs.
4. The Magic Pause
You: “Coat on” [PAUSE… count to 5 in your head] Wait. Really wait. Any response counts – a sound, a reach, eye contact. Then continue. The pause is where possibility lives.
Mistakes I See Every Week
Talking Like an Adult
❌ “Would you like to wear your blue dinosaur shirt or your red one with the stripes for nursery today?”
✅ “Blue shirt? Red shirt?” (holding them up)
Racing Up the Ladder
❌ Monday: single words, Friday: expecting sentences ✅ Two weeks minimum on each rung (usually more)
Waiting for Perfect
❌ Ignoring “wa” because it’s not “water”
✅ “You said ‘wa’! Yes, water! Here’s your water!”
Every attempt is communication. Every sound is a victory.
Your Child’s Current Rung
Take a moment to identify where your child is:
In the morning routine, my child:
- Uses no words (Rung 1)
- Uses 1-10 words (Rung 2)
- Combines 2 words sometimes (Rung 3)
- Uses simple sentences (Rung 4)
This means I should:
- Use the language level for their rung
- Add just one element
- Stay consistent for at least 2 weeks
- Celebrate every small step up
The Routine Language Ladder in Action
Morning Routine – Real Examples
Rung 1 child: “Morning!” → “Up!” → “Nappy” → “Milk”
Rung 2 child: “Good morning” → “Nappy off” → “Milk time” → “Nice milk”
Rung 3 child: “Morning time” → “Change your nappy” → “Want some milk?” → “Here’s your milk”
Rung 4 child: “Good morning, love” → “Let’s change that nappy” → “Would you like some milk?” → “Your milk is ready”
A Final Thought
I’ve watched thousands of children climb this ladder. Some zoom up. Some take their time. Some go back down a rung when they’re tired or stressed. Some stay on one rung for months.
All of this is normal. All of this is progress.
Your job isn’t to pull them up faster. It’s to meet them where they are and make that rung feel safe enough to reach for the next one.
You’re doing better than you think.
Hulya Mehmet
Consultant Speech & Language Therapist